But for the Grace of God

I've been thinking a lot lately about the magnitude of God's grace. I lived a lot of my life up to a point trying to earn "success."  Success in accordance with wordly standards such as career, money, and social status. For me, success has mostly meant getting a decent education and having enough money to pay my bills and live. I decided early in my life that I was not going to let the amount of money that I have dictate my worth, however, I often compare myself to my peers based on the wordly standards I mentioned above...all centering on money.

I find myself dwelling on this subject in this time because I have found that when I reach particular goals in my life, such as recently finishing my masters degree, they are not nearly as fulfilling as I thought they would be.  Nothing ever seems to be enough.  So, as soon as I reach one goal, I'm off and running to the next.  However, when I take pause and contemplate what's really important, I find fulfillment in the fact that God loves me no matter what I do, no matter how much money I make, no matter what my social standing is. His grace has permeated through all of the messed up things that I've done in my life and despite those messed up things (a lot of which should have landed me in jail or dead) he still says that he loves me...and that is nothing short of a miracle to me.  I do not have have to earn success in his eyes. And that is what is important to me today: recognizing that God is the one in whom my faith lies, not power, money, or fame. Ultimately these things don't matter. There is so much bondage in this world and when we chase "success" we only recede deeper into the dungeon. There is freedom in God's grace and a deep fulfillment in his love.  I easily revert back to measuring myself and my worth by this world, so for me, it is a daily receiving of God's abundant and unconditional grace that sustains me.

I can't imagine living my life the way I once did, holding the measuring stick of the world.  It's a constant cycle of trying to live up to a meaningless standard.  Today, I choose to throw away that measuring stick and simply rest in the arms of God, who loves and extends grace to all of his creation unconditionally.